Holidays Can Be Rough

Holidays can be rough and painful living with ALS, caring for somone we love with ALS or because we've lost someone due to ALS

taking them from us.

I'd like to see us be there for each other now and help each other through this time rather than wait until Thanksgiving and Christmas are upon us and it bites us in the arse because we're going through it alone and ignored the fact we may have a rough time this year or again.

Dad, Kay and Rivqa

I lost my dad a few years ago and it feels like yesterday. The loss & emptiness without him never goes away.
This year I'm determined in the midst of missing him especially during the holidays to focus on the awesomeness he gave to my life.

Growing up the holidays were unpredictable and never knew when dad would fly off the handle and ruin the holiday.
As a child I don't remember Thanksgiving or Christmas being a happy time of memories.

We 5 kids could dream all we wanted for gifts we thought we'd like but we wouldn't get them. 

Dad was alcoholic and couldn't keep a job so mom had to waitress to bring in the income. 

Dad was abusive to mom and to us sometimes. So life was always full of fear.

This is a picture of a doll like I had and of course don't anymore because she got lost but she was my pride and joy baby doll.
 The one gift I treasured for years.

As I became a teen things worsened and dad did not get better.
Mom and dad divorced and it was still hellish and I was confused a lot.

I got married and had kids of my own and didn't see my dad anymore for lots of years.

I was even in the same town he lived in Arkansas but didn't go see him.

I find out a few years later he'd completely changed, gave his heart to Christ, became a traveling minister and was not the same man anymore.

He moved back to Iowa with his possessive wife and did get to see him some.

He started getting sick and she was ill too I believe. Anyway both were in a care center. I started to visit him, decided I was not going to be kept from my dad.  After my stepmom passed away he went downhill quickly.
I did everything I could to get my kids and grandkids there to see their grandpa.
He made memories those last few months and were there with him every chance we got.

I could be sad about the years lost due to alcoholism and our separation but I'm holding on to how precious he was to me in spite of the hellish years we had.
I still have family who do not forgive him and didn't even go to his funeral to say goodbye. 

You see I didn't have all those warm and fuzzy times like so many did to fall back on for memories yet I cherish the few years we had with each other.
I think about from time to time what we could have had during Christmas if he lived and ALS didn't steal his life.
I think of him sitting around the Christmas tree, having his hot coffee he loved and opening gifts with the kids and grandkids. 

I shared all this to say, hang on with all you got to your loved one if they are still with you, cherish those memories you had and have, build more while they are still here and wrapped them in your heart with love.

If you've lost someone you love due to ALS, all the more reason to keep those memories as the most precious gift you have received from them.

Now go help others get through this time of year and share your story.
Cindy